5 AM Club ... but I'm giving this a go this month,

Frances Gallagher Author

Feb 04, 2025 |

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances.

The 5 AM Club: Because Sleep is for the Weak (or Just Sensible People)

So, you've heard of The 5 AM Club—the elite group of overachievers who rise before the sun, conquer the world by lunchtime, and make the rest of us feel like sluggish potatoes? Yeah, me too. It’s a movement that promises productivity, focus, and success. But let’s be honest—will waking up at 5 AM really change my life, or will it just make me a permanently exhausted pigeon? Well, that’s my challenge this month … I’ve joined the 5 am Club 🥳

Principle #1: Wake Up Before the Birds, Feel Superior

The 5 AM Club preaches the gospel of rising early because successful people do it. Apparently, waking up at dawn will give me a secret head start on life. But let’s be real—while these early birds are out there journaling, meditating, and running 10K before breakfast, the rest of us are just trying to figure out where we left our left sock.

And have you ever tried waking up at 5 AM in the middle of winter? Not really. In fact, the only thing rising at the moment is my resentment.

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. I know you’re all behind me 😊

Principle #2: The 20/20/20 Formula (when I first read about it a.k.a. The Triple Torture Method)

According to the book, my first hour should be split into:

• 20 minutes of intense exercise (sweat at 5 AM? Why do you hate me?)
• 20 minutes of reflection, journaling, or meditation (not like 20 minutes of scrolling TikTok and pretending it’s “mindfulness”)
• 20 minutes of learning (as if my brain can absorb knowledge before coffee, but maybe squeeze in some content for a course or two).

Honestly, if I can get through one of these without crying into my pillow, I deserve an award.

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. I know you’re all behind me 😊

Principle #3: Success Loves the Early Risers (But So Does the Nap Monster)

The book insists that all successful people wake up early. But here’s the thing—so do babies, dairy farmers, and people with annoying alarm clocks. Not all of them are making millions.

Meanwhile, some of history’s greatest minds (Einstein, Churchill, and basically every rock star ever) thrived on sleeping in. Coincidence? I’m thinking not.

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. I know you’re all behind me 😊

Principle #4: Discipline Over Comfort (Translation: Suffering is Key)

The 5 AM Club is all about discipline (we all know what that's like, especially in completing online courses), a little sacrifice, and pushing through discomfort. Sounds great in theory—until I probably hit that mid-afternoon slump where I will start hallucinating and questioning my life choices.

By 3 PM, 5 AM Club members are either:
a) secretly napping (I can’t do that in the middle of an online class)
b) chugging espresso like it’s holy water
c) questioning why I joined this club in the first place

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. I know you’re all behind me 😊

Principle #5: My Social Life? Never Heard of It.

Ever tried going to bed at 9 PM? Yeah, say goodbye, Frances, to late-night Netflix binges, spontaneous outings, and any chance of being a fun person. While my friends are out living their best lives, I’ll be tucked in like a grandma, clutching my alarm clock with existential dread.

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. I know you’re all behind me 😊

Final Verdict: To 5 AM or Not to 5 AM?

Look, if waking up at 5 AM makes me feel like a productivity machine, then I’m going for it. But if it just turns me into a cranky zombie with questionable life choices, then maybe—just maybe—sleeping in isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Because let’s be honest—the real secret to success isn’t waking up at an ungodly hour. It’s finding a routine that works for me (and allows for a decent amount of sleep because, let’s face it, we’re all human).

I’m going to give it my best shot … but if not …

I’ll be off to join the 8 AM Club—where I’ll be committed to believing in productivity and REM cycles.

But I’m giving this a go this month, so stay positive, Frances. 🚀💪😴

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